Sam Silverglade

Dating Websites

  What is Online Dating?

Love is a precious commodity that modern society values very highly.  It has become so valuable that lucrative businesses have been developed to assist a person that is seeking love.  In Maslow's Hierarchy of needs pyramid, love is placed in the very center of the pyramid. Maslow states that "people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging."  Love is powerful in itself, but it also has the potential to have effects behind the relationship of the two people.  It can influence anyone the person (in love) comes in contact.   Unfortunately, love can be allusive for many people.  There are many variables that factor into someone's inability to find love in the real world.   For all of these reasons, online dating has become an integral part of today's popular culture.   Dating websites have been created to make the quest for love less time consuming, easily accessible, and with less emotional strain.   These websites have become dramatically more successful with one in five people in a committed relationship with a person they met on a dating website.  EHarmony is no exception. 


Steps of Participation

1.       The first thing you will do is fill out a Questionnaire pertaining to self interests, perception, hobbies, values, occupation, and etc.  These questions are pretty specific which enables the website to narrow its search and find an adequate match.  

2.      Based on answers to questionnaire, the website will present a list of people with similar answers to yours. 

3.      The user then has the opportunity to choose which person from the list they would like to communicate with via instant messaging, email, and etc.  

4.      If the person they communicate with is not desirable, the user can choose a different person and continue this process until the optimal match is found.  

5.     There are millions of people that use the website, so a participant will always be exposed to a new potential match.    


 Useful Tips

Be selective 

Answer survey questions honestly.  There are many questions that the site will ask.  You are not required to answer all the questions.   However, you should answer the questions you think are important.     

Know Yourself

Be introspective.  You need to be confident with your morals and values by understanding the reasoning behind them.  

Don’t be Sketchy or Mysterious

Present yourself in an honest and appealing way to attract potential partners. A bad example of this is “I’m a well built woman with a 16 pack.  I cook frog legs and like talking a lot.  Please don’t read lines 3, 4, 6, 9, 12, and 14. “This advertisement indicates to the reader that there is something this person is concealing which could be unappealing.  

Don’t Lie, Be Honest from the Heart

Write from your heart and be sincere about what you say.  A good example of this is “I am a 5 foot 9 inches tall male.  I love sports and I’m extremely athletic.  I enjoy going to concerts and theatre events.  I’m very social and love to dance. “This is an honest post that comes from the heart but isn’t overwhelming to the reader. 

Don't be Negative, be very positive

Being negative in your profile is a major turnoff. 
For example say something like, "To be quite honest, I have been putting this off as long as possible. I have friends who use Match and have had some terrible dates."
Nobody wants to be around someone that will bring them down.  Being positive is like a magnet.

Be Unique

Go from typical to unique.   It is important to highlight differences between you and the average "joe" or "Jessica."  This can be a major determinant as to whether or not someone will find you attractive.  

Be Modest

It is imperative that you are modest in your profile.  People on these websites are generally not interested in someone who is an arrogant braggart. You can still create a positive image of yourself without boasting. Use a modest tone and use modest language in your description of yourself. Your profile needs to be relatable and understandable.   Important: This does not mean you have to abbreviate the description. This also does not mean you have to exclude likes/dislikes, personality traits etc. in your profile.  

Present yourself in an appealing manner

Essentially dating websites are equivalent to a market place.   I know this is a superficial way to characterize the quest for love but when using these sites you are trying to present yourself in a manner that will appeal to other people.  The key difference between the love market and the regular market place is that real love involves chemistry that can only be produced from people that are truthful to each other. 

Post a picture of yourself

In this day and age, it is very helpful and valuable to put a photograph of yourself so your potential match at least has an idea of what you look like.  People are quick to judge based on appearances so make the photograph a flattering one.  This photograph gives a potential match reassurance as to who you are.   

Don’t be shy

Also, a pretty basic tip is to be positive about this whole process/experience.  You have nothing to lose, only to gain.   Put your whole self out there the best way you know how.  This is the most valuable asset of a dating website.  The survey questions and the opportunity to create a personalized authentic version of your full self is an incredible advantage for users of this genre.  

Examples of Online Dating Profiles 

These are examples of good online dating profiles.  

These are examples of bad online dating profiles.
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